THE FOG OF LIFE 

The new Jewish year, 5785, began Wednesday evening and presented me with a serious, if ongoing, challenge.

At 80, I find myself increasingly lost in the fog of life. While my head remains clear, the older I get, the less certainty I cling to.

In synagogue for Rosh Hashanah services, we prayed for peace. This applies to Israel and the Middle East, Ukraine, Africa, the entire world. As to Israel, I’d love to reassure family and friends that all will be well. But what’s the path to peace with Israeli troops engaged in Lebanon and Gaza? An anticipated response to Iran’s sending 180 missiles towards and into Israel? And most of all, the ayatollahs undying hatred? I don’t know.

I’d like to predict that Kamala Harris will defeat Donald Trump and take office in an environment of national goodwill and reconciliation. Polling—imprecise at best—indicates a neck-and-neck race. I can’t say that regardless of the polls, I know that Harris will win. That the better angels of Americans on the far right—and the far left—will trumpet a new day. Hope never should be confused with knowledge.  

The mayor’s race in San Francisco? How well and when the City will bounce back post-Covid? I’m in a fog here, too. (Weatherwise, naturally.) I might be more optimistic about San Francisco than others, but I can’t offer much comfort. 

Then there’s the looming impact of artificial intelligence. I’m clueless on that, and other vital technology and business issues.

Of lesser importance, a good friend asked me about the Golden State Warriors’ chances in the upcoming NBA season. Beats me. The Warriors have a competitive roster, but last year’s top teams will rightly be the title favorites. My sports mantra:  Forget predictions, which rest on a multiplicity of factors, like injuries that can’t be anticipated. Let’s see how the game plays out on the court, the ice, the field.

Finally, my ninth decade finds me in good health, but I can’t foretell when some unexpected genetic time bomb will explode. I’m content to play with the house’s money while knowing how this game will end. When and under what conditions? No clue.

But wait! as they say on TV infomercials. If you feel a bout of severe depression coming on, take heart.

The psychoanalyst and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl wrote that we can’t control what happens to us, but we can control our attitude towards our difficulties. I can’t change the news, but I can follow it to stay informed—and turn it off when I’ve had enough. I can also recycle political junk mail while studying the issues and voting.

Most important, I can recognize my limited role in life and live it with dignity and grace—be a good husband, father, friend, congregant, neighbor, citizen.

Sometimes, all we can offer is a friendly “Hello” to a stranger, touch base with people having a tough time, let a pedestrian cross the street in peace. Small stuff. But small stuff can add up like raindrops becoming rivulets becoming streams becoming rivers.

This I do know: I’ll be satisfied being the best person I can as long as I can. The fog will linger, but I may yet thin it a bit and see what’s really important more clearly. 

If you’re celebrating the High Holy Days, may this New Year bring you peace. If you’re not, may it also bring you peace.

Please pass on this post. And—

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12 Comments

  1. David Sperber on October 4, 2024 at 9:50 am

    Stay healthy and hope for the best. I’m leaving soon for 2 weeks in Europe and hoping my pockets don’t get picked snd my pasta goes down well. Shana Tova to you and Caroline.

    • David Perlstein on October 4, 2024 at 11:04 am

      Have a wonderful trip, David. Wishing you, Mary and the family Shanah Tova!

  2. Julie Lekach House on October 4, 2024 at 10:04 am

    I love this and hope I live this! Realistic optimism at its finest. Don’t sweat the small stuff—just do the small stuff!! Shana tova umetuka. To a sweet new year!

    • David Perlstein on October 4, 2024 at 11:03 am

      Thanks, Julie. The small stuff can be sweet, indeed. Shanah Tova!

  3. David Newman on October 4, 2024 at 11:20 am

    My trainer and yoga teacher both emphasize the importance of balance as we get older. They, of course, mean it in the physical sense, but emotional and mental balance are equally important. The only way to handle the whirlwinds of modern life is to be firmly grounded and light on your feet.

    One way to stay balanced is small acts of grace, sharing a smile with a stranger, saying “thank you” and meaning it, waving a pedestrian across. Every small act increases the world’s reservoir of good vibes.

    As for the things we can’t control, there are still small things that have non-zero impact: helping get out the vote in those states where votes actually matter, donating time or money to causes you think are important. We are not as powerful as we’d like, but we are more powerful – especially together- than we may think.

    May we all matter in the new year. Shanah Tovah.

    • David Perlstein on October 4, 2024 at 11:41 am

      Words to live by, David.

  4. George A on October 4, 2024 at 1:18 pm

    A beautiful reflection, David. Shanah tova!

    • David Perlstein on October 4, 2024 at 2:05 pm

      Thanks, George. Shanah Tova!

  5. Lisa Erdberg on October 4, 2024 at 1:24 pm

    Lovely essay, David. Wise words to contemplate during this period of reflection.

    • David Perlstein on October 4, 2024 at 2:04 pm

      Thank you, Lisa.

  6. Sandy Lipkowitz on October 5, 2024 at 5:49 pm

    You have done the most important work. You are these things.
    Most important, I can recognize my limited role in life and live it with dignity and grace—be a good husband, father, friend, congregant, neighbor, citizen.

    Shana Tova.

    • David Perlstein on October 5, 2024 at 6:23 pm

      Thank you, Sandy. Shanah Tova!

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