HUGE-BOAR AND THE NARROWS—A FABLE March 20, 2026

Once upon a time, HUGE-BOAR, the brawniest beast in the forest, called out a very aggressive, if less powerful, rival. “Idiot-Ram is a danger to the whole forest!!!”

Without telling anyone, HUGE-BOAR—known for his huge hump, the hugest—crossed the forest. With a deer friend, Big Buck, he attacked I-Ram’s territory. 

HUGE-BOAR deployed his enormous tusks and sharp teeth while Big-Buck used his prodigious horns. They tore up much of the habitat that housed I-Ram and much of one of I-Ram’s collaborators.

Despite severe wounds, I-Ram fought back. The ferocious battle toppled many of the forest’s trees. I-Ram butted some into the narrowest part of the very important stream below which many forest creatures drank. The Narrows became a virtual dam. Still enraged, I-Ram also filled other small streams and ponds with dirt and brush.

I-Ram’s downstream neighbors couldn’t believe all this was happening to them. Many of them once thought HUGE-BOAR would protect them from I-Ram. Now, they were forced to roam far and wide to quench their thirst.

Many upstream creatures also were troubled. Once, they had been close friends—close might have been pushing it—with HUGE-BOAR. Now, they worried about their own water supplies. They did not like I-Ram, who threatened everyone around him, but they wondered if HUGE-BOAR had gone too far. Downstream creatures were wandering away from their habitats to drink upstream. 

Would there be enough water?

One of HUGE-BOAR’s hoof-lickers finally whispered into his master’s orange-furred ear that the blockage at the Narrows was causing problems that could bounce back on him. “HUGE-BOAR, I know you’re the toughest, meanest warrior in the forest, but opening up the Narrows is a big job. Maybe we should get some help.”

“Help?” screamed HUGE-BOAR. “I don’t need any f*****g help.”

But a giant cry arose from the legions of parched creatures: “Do something!” 

HUGE-BOAR relented. He invited his friends—even if they weren’t nearly as powerful as he was—to add their pitiful-but-sufficient strength to the effort and help him drag trees out of the Narrows.

Although worried, they sent back a message: “We’ll pass.”

They left unsaid that they might have joined HUGE-BOAR and B-Buck in taking on the threats posed by I-Ram if only had they been asked. Which they hadn’t. HUGE-BOAR had never even sent advance word that he planned to cross the forest to give I-Ram an “ass-whipping.”

They also left unsaid that HUGE-BOAR often called them “deadbeats,” claiming that they relied on him to “protect their asses.” He’d also threatened to take over several of their long-established territories. As if he didn’t have enough forest to roam in.

HUGE-BOAR responded to their refusal by roaring to any creature who would listen, “Who needs those guys? Friends? They’re not friends. I never wanted their help in the first place.”

So, the Narrows continued to choke off much of the forest’s water supply. More and more downstream creatures wandered upstream in desperation. The forest became a very unsettled place. Who knew what additional disaster might lie ahead?

The fable of “HUGE-BOAR and the Narrows” weaves a complex story. But from it, one can take a simple moral:

If you want friends to help out in time of need, be a friend before you hurl s**t at the fan.

To understand the background of today’s far-right, authoritarian descent, read my new novel, RIDE THE TYGER. Order from Amazon, barnesandnoble.com, iuniverse.com, or your favorite bookstore.