THE CAT LADY AMENDMENT August 2, 2024

As a parent of three sons, I’m licking my chops at the possibility that I may have more power to sway future presidential elections.

In 2021, JD Vance, now the Republican candidate for vice president, declared that the United States was run by miserable “childless cat ladies.” As a prime example, he cited Vice President Kamala Harris. Women like Harris—and childless men like Pete Buttigieg—had no “direct stake” in the country’s future. (Newsflash: V.P. Harris has two stepdaughters; Mr. Buttigieg and his husband twins, a girl and a boy.) 

A week ago, Vance doubled down. He told podcast host Megyn Kelly that his earlier statement only reflected sarcasm. Wait for it: He had nothing against cats. But “the substance of what I said, I’m sorry, it’s true.”

That may not play well politically. Childless adults abound. A recent Pew Research Center study revealed that 47 percent of adults younger than 50 did not want to have children. That was up 10 points over 2018.

Barring childless Americans from voting or providing parents with more than one vote would require a constitutional amendment. How to frame it? The devil, as they say, is in the details. 

Will parents get one additional vote for each child? Thus each person in a couple with three children—such as Vance and his wife, and Carolyn and me—get four votes each, eight per couple. 

What about stepchildren? Does Kamala Harris get two additional votes for her stepdaughters? How about blended families? Do all the kids count for each parent? And let’s discuss foster children.

Tragedy happens, of course. What if parents lose a child? Does each still get an extra vote?

How about pregnancies? Many conservatives want to give fetuses full citizens’ rights. Does a fetus provide an extra vote? What about miscarriages? Do good intentions count? 

Parental status poses another matter. Does a vote-providing child have to be produced by straight parents? Is IVF okay? And must the mother be married—unless widowed or divorced? 

Talking about people eying the future, should grandchildren provide bonus votes? Moral stickler: If one or both parents of grandchildren are under 18, do grandma and grandpa still get those votes?

The Cat Lady Amendment might include special exceptions. What about childless active-duty and retired military? Childless members of Congress? Remember that George Washington had no children. Ditto presidents James Madison (“Father of the Constitution”), James K. Polk, Andrew Johnson and Herbert Hoover. Warren G. Harding had a child but out of wedlock. Unpatriotic all?

Two more items: First, pets. Many people consider their pets as their children. Second, can a market be established so people with children can sell their extra votes to those who are childless?

If the Cat Lady Amendment passes and the Supreme Court blesses it—Chief Justice John Roberts has two adopted children; Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan are childless—here’s something else to consider: Would the amendment’s passage spur Americans to have more children to increase their political clout? How many of those parents will be able to feed those extra mouths? 

JD Vance has given us much to think about as we look towards the November election. I hope that many Americans will deliberate carefully before casting their vote—while they still have one.

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