STATE OF DISUNION February 27, 2026

Last Tuesday night, Donald Trump gave the first part of the State of the Union address. Here’s the rest he decided—with anguish—not to share.

“My SUBJECTS: ‘My Fellow Americans,’ that’s Bullshit! The only people on my level are guys with three COMMAS in their asset totals. Also Numbers. Numbers add up to DOLLAR$$$. You break Numbers up with three commas, your assets total at least a Billion Dollars. No big deal. I take in at least a Billion EVERY MONTH in return for serving the best interests of My Subjects.

“But I digress.

“I just picked that word up. DIGRESS. It’s like changing course when you’re sailing to Epstein’s Island, then you head back to Florida. Digress—I call it WEAVING. I weave to make a Point. Like, take the Point on a Pencil. I prefer Pens. Sharpies. A Sharpie makes my signature look so Manly. All those letters. Up and down. Up and down. Remind you of anything? A Man and a Woman? A Man alone? [Wink, wink.] I’m never alone. People want to be with ME. Especially WOMEN People. 

“But I digress.

“I have more GREAT IDEAS for bringing Peace and Prosperity to the World. Peace—I get more Gold Medals. Have to be GOLD. The White House Chef, he sprinkles Gold on the Big Macs I order in. I love Good Food. I’m building a new Party Room for the White House. Gold everywhere. World Leaders will come to Big events. HUGE. We’ll bring in food from every Five-Star fast-food place in the D.C. Area. Maybe get Cheese Steaks from Philly, fly in Brisket from Kansas City… Wait! Those are Blue cities. They won’t get a Dime of the People’s money. Meaning, MY money. Unless they pay ME a Promotional Fee. 

“But I digress.

“I’m going to do more HUGE Things to Make ME America Greater Again.

“For openers, I’m kicking the Toronto Blue Jays out of Major League Baseball and the Toronto Raptors from the National Basketball Association. These are AMERICAN games. The Toronto Maple Leafs and all those other Canadian teams in the National Hockey League? They can form their own League. Unless they pay ME a Promotional Fee.

“I’m also having my portrait put on $10 and $20 bills. Not $50s and $100s. Only IMMIGRANT DRUG DEALERS AND DEMOCRATS use those. Maybe not so much the $50s, but watch out!!! Pay for something with a $50, ICE will be on you faster than Amazon pays Melania another $27 million $37 million for Part Two of the documentary on her. Amazon’s gonna lose money, but Bezos has COMMAS!!!

“Anyway, the U.S. Treasury’s gonna pay ME a licensing fee for My portraits on Currency. Also, my pal Vladimir says he’ll pay ME Big Bucks (NO rubles) if I put his portrait on the $1 bill. George Washington? What’s he done lately? It’s been 250 years, right? Everyone knows Democracy’s getting OLD!!!

“But I digress.

“Wait. I forgot what I wanted to say. So I’ll just repeat what I just said two or three more times… Now I remember.”

I—David—could have concluded with Trump’s intention to become the Czar of Hollywood, but I have a word limit. So, as Warner Bros.’ Looney Tunes cartoons used to end: ‘”That’s all, folks!”

To understand the background of today’s far-right, authoritarian descent, read my new novel, RIDE THE TYGER. Order from Amazon, barnesandnoble.com, iuniverse.com, or your favorite bookstore.