I recently met two women I can associate with my favorite color, blue. The very different experiences pointed out the fragility of human nature and the ways in which our society struggles to achieve the ideal of “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
Last Friday night, I took the bus home after Shabbat services at Congregation Sherith Israel. While I was reading on my iPhone, the voice of a young woman assaulted my ears—and everyone else’s. I tried not to listen to what she was loudly declaring to her friends, but I did make out something about pictures or photos and “I can be that bitch, I can be that ho.”
I might not have paid attention to whatever idiocy the young woman was disclaiming if she’d kept her voice down. She didn’t. Since no one attempted to talk to her—including the driver—I got up and approached her. She appeared to be a high-school student. She might have been a bit older. Her hair was electric blue. Three or four metal rings pierced her lower lip. But her appearance wasn’t an issue. I told her that none of us was interested in what she was saying. I wish I’d been cleverer, but I’m still developing my skills for these situations.
She declared her indignation. Quiet down? “This,” she screamed, “is MUNI!” The young woman apparently believed that anyone has the right to disturb the peace on San Francisco buses. Understanding that an argument would be meaningless and wanting to give her a way to save face, I went to the front of the bus and sat. I noticed that the back of the bus had grown quiet.
By the time I reached my stop, the young woman was talking to her friends but moderately. Did I feel victorious? No. I felt concerned. This young woman might need better parenting. I also reflected that it often does take a village, although my fellow passengers didn’t want any part of that. Was I angry? Again, no. I wondered if the young woman had problems at home, if her rudeness and self-directed ugly comments indicated abuse.
Sunday—Mother’s Day—offered something different. Carolyn wanted to go the drag brunch at the Starlite Room at the Sir Francis Drake hotel. I took her, along with my son Aaron and son-in-law Jeremy. The food was good, and the show was great with enough energy to light Union Square. The emcee, Donna Sachet, changed dresses three times. Her second dress was blue. And she sang a very moving song, “Be Kind.”
Sexual identity covers a broad spectrum. San Francisco enables people, drag queens included, to live their lives as they choose as long as they don’t harm others. Other parts of the nation often fail to let their sons and daughters express who they really are. Leviticus 19:18 instructs us to love our neighbors as ourselves. Too often, the Bible’s calls for love receive only lip service.
So there you have it. Two women in blue. I wish I’d found a way to be kind to the high school girl. I hope that the world will be kind to Donna Sachet. Kindness costs so little. It does so much.
The blog will take Memorial Day weekend off and return on May 29.
Read the first two chapters of FLIGHT OF THE SPUMONIS here at www.davidperlstein.com. You can get a signed copy from me—$20 plus $3 postage if required—or order a soft cover or e-book at Amazon.com.
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