BARWD OF PEECE 

Only creative spelling can express two disastrous horrors foisted on the United States by its would-be emperor. Donald Trump is bored with peace. He threatened force and tariffs to seize Greenland, an autonomous territory of NATO ally Denmark. Why? Trump texted Norwegian prime minister Jonas Gahr Store: “Considering your Country decided not to give me the Nobel Peace…

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NAVALNY—AMERICA BEWARE

Alexei Navalny, arch political foe of Vladimir Putin, “died” in a prison camp above the Arctic Circle. Come November, Americans should remember and pay heed. The day before Navalny died, he appeared on a video looking healthy and smiling. Russian sources claimed “Sudden Death Syndrome.” Translation: assassination. Only three days ago was Navalny’s mother allowed…

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PUTIN—THE OVER/UNDER 

Humans long have loved gambling. (“See that mammoth?”) So, I’m offering the over/under on a matter of great significance—Vladimir Putin’s hold on power. I’m setting a six-month window. Take under, and you think Putin will vanish between October 15, 2022 and January 14, 2023. Bet over, and you believe he’ll be through between January 15 and April…

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MAR-A-LAGO’S OTHER TREASURES 

Much has been made about government documents Donald Trump stashed at Mar-a-Lago. I’ve accessed the Department of Justice’s list of personal items to be returned. The following bear stickies with Trump’s comments. (Note: DOJ semi-redacted key words.) Items include . . . A photo of President Trump and Russian president Vladimir Putin. Trump’s note: I’m KING PRESIDENT of…

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BULLSHIT!

I have an awkward relationship with WordPress, which I use to publish my posts. A former American president has an awkward relationship with the truth. My problem is easier to deal with.  WordPress analyzes a post’s “readability.” My drafts always receive a frowning icon and a warning: “Needs Improvement.” One exception stands out. “Putin’s Secret…

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WELCOME TO THE GRAY ZONE 

Americans hoping Ukraine can resist Vladimir Putin share a common trait with many of the most memorable characters in the Hebrew Bible. This may discomfort us. Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Aaron, Miriam, David, Solomon all exhibit real flaws. (David takes Bathsheba to wife after sending her soldier-husband, Uriah the Hittite,…

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PUTINSPEAK

Americans have nothing on Vladimir Putin when it comes to perverting language. Russia’s invasion of Ukraine (an act of “genius” twice accorded Putin by Donald Trump before the actual incursion), becomes entirely rational once you understand Putinspeak. Here are seven words to consider: Peace—order imposed by force of arms. A society without obedience to a…

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PUTIN’S SECRET DEMANDS 

Russia justifies massing 100,000 troops on its border with Ukraine in response to NATO encroachment. But Vladimir Putin recently sent Joe Biden his real demands.   “Comrade Joe: Do not mind ‘Comrade.’ Takes me back to glorious days of Soviet Union, which all Russia wishes to return. Except way things are now, situation not bad. “Enough…

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DRESS REHEARSAL IN PORTLAND

Something ominous has been happening in Portland, Oregon. But Donald Trump’s sending camouflage-uniformed, armed and unidentified federal personnel to attack protestors represents only half the story. Portland mayor Ted Wheeler and Oregon governor Kate Brown responded with anger. Oregon attorney general Ellen Rosenblum sought a restraining order against the Department of Homeland Security. It was…

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ROOTING AGAINST OURSELVES

A column by Nick Hoppe in Monday’s San Francisco Chronicle reflected on his father Art, a longtime Chron columnist, writing in 1971 against the Vietnam War. In effect, Art Hoppe rooted against his own country. That poses some interesting questions. We lost. Withdrawing our last combat troops in 1973 enabled North Vietnam to overrun the south and…

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TRUMPINOCCHIO

I’m TrumPinocchio & I want to be a Real Boy, not a Wooden Knockoff. But my Nose grows every time I Lie. Which I NEVER. Hold on. Have to hold iPhone I’m texting on farther away. Sure, sometimes I exaggggerate. That 400-lb. Guy in bed who hacked Democratic National Committee’s emails? He only goes 350.…

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I LOVE A PARADE—SOMETIMES

Have you ever marched in a parade? I don’t mean strolled with a crowd down Main Street on July Fourth or behind Dykes on Bikes during San Francisco’s Pride Week. I mean marchedas part of a military unit? I have. But I’d be ashamed to see our troops march down Pennsylvania Avenue this Veterans Day.…

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I, VLADIMIR

I, Vladimir Putin, meet privately with President Trump in Helsinki earlier in week. In private, we discuss many important things. Now, I tell Americans at higher ends of intelligence about what I say to my tovarichDonald. We start with golf. I love it. Even in deepest, darkest winter, I play 36 holes bare-chested. (Also work…

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“THE ALIBI”—A FABLE

Wearing an orange jumpsuit, Joe follows the bailiff into the courtroom for his arraignment. He sits next to a haggard public defender, who nods. Joe smiles. Sure, he committed the crime. But he knows he won’t be indicted. Joe admits he came to the end of his rope. He’d worked a good job in a…

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PIXI(E)LATED

On Wednesday, following his meeting in Singapore with Kim Jong-un, President Trump tweeted that there is “no longer a Nuclear Threat from North Korea.” Why am I not relieved? Two words come to mind. Pixilatedmeans acting in a mentally unbalanced, unstable way. Pixelated—note the “e” replacing the first “i”—refers to the number of pixels on…

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