DRESS REHEARSAL IN PORTLAND

Something ominous has been happening in Portland, Oregon. But Donald Trump’s sending camouflage-uniformed, armed and unidentified federal personnel to attack protestors represents only half the story. Portland mayor Ted Wheeler and Oregon governor Kate Brown responded with anger. Oregon attorney general Ellen Rosenblum sought a restraining order against the Department of Homeland Security. It was…

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ROOTING AGAINST OURSELVES

A column by Nick Hoppe in Monday’s San Francisco Chronicle reflected on his father Art, a longtime Chron columnist, writing in 1971 against the Vietnam War. In effect, Art Hoppe rooted against his own country. That poses some interesting questions. We lost. Withdrawing our last combat troops in 1973 enabled North Vietnam to overrun the south and…

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TRUMPINOCCHIO

I’m TrumPinocchio & I want to be a Real Boy, not a Wooden Knockoff. But my Nose grows every time I Lie. Which I NEVER. Hold on. Have to hold iPhone I’m texting on farther away. Sure, sometimes I exaggggerate. That 400-lb. Guy in bed who hacked Democratic National Committee’s emails? He only goes 350.…

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I LOVE A PARADE—SOMETIMES

Have you ever marched in a parade? I don’t mean strolled with a crowd down Main Street on July Fourth or behind Dykes on Bikes during San Francisco’s Pride Week. I mean marchedas part of a military unit? I have. But I’d be ashamed to see our troops march down Pennsylvania Avenue this Veterans Day.…

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I, VLADIMIR

I, Vladimir Putin, meet privately with President Trump in Helsinki earlier in week. In private, we discuss many important things. Now, I tell Americans at higher ends of intelligence about what I say to my tovarichDonald. We start with golf. I love it. Even in deepest, darkest winter, I play 36 holes bare-chested. (Also work…

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