FAMILIES
PRIDE AND STRAIGHT PARENTS
Pride Month in San Francisco concludes Sunday with the annual parade up Market Street. Carolyn and I have a personal connection. We have a trans son, Yosi, and a gay son, Aaron—and gay son-in-law Jeremy. Also, a straight son, Seth. We love them equally. Pride serves as a celebration for two straight parents who learned…
Read MoreLAUGHING WITH CANCER
Michelle Holstein’s family had no history of cancer until 2003. At age 40, Michelle, raised in San Antonio and a longtime Bay Area resident, was diagnosed with Stage IIb breast cancer. Multiple surgeries, chemo and radiation followed. She expected a full recovery. One of her oncologists described her experience as a “bump in the road.”…
Read MoreWE HAVE MET THE ENEMY
Last Tuesday, the Supreme Court heard an appeal against California’s Proposition 8, which bans same-sex marriage. If the arguments for Prop 8 hold weight, the court’s decision—if it doesn’t dismiss the case and renders one in June—may force my wife and I to divorce. First, a disclosure. We have a gay son. A married gay…
Read MoreBUDDY
Something odd is going on in San Francisco. The vast majority of upwardly mobile young parents seem to have given their sons the same name. It’s spooky. With all the names available—from Adam, Bob and Charles to Xavier, Yoel and Zachary—almost every small boy answers to Buddy. I first thought parents were honoring old-time celebrities.…
Read MoreE PLURIBUS ECHAD
At President Obama’s public inauguration last Monday, Richard Blanco read his poem, “One Today.” Blanco’s theme of unity really resonated. “One sun rose on us today, kindled over our shores.” We are a single people joined together. “My face, your face, millions of faces in morning’s mirrors.” Each inauguration prompts good feelings roused by America’s…
Read MoreOLD
In Fiddler on the Roof, Tevye the milkman in Anatevka declares, “It’s no shame to be poor. But it’s no great honor, either.” In America, however, poverty often is viewed as shameful. And poor or rich, so is growing older. The old—however you define them/us—are made irrelevant. Popular culture offers many examples. Of late, three…
Read MoreI AM MY MOTHER—KIND OF
In mid-June, I wrote about having become my father, Morris. Yet we all have two genetic parents. As it happens, my mother, Blanche Finkle Perlstein, died thirteen years ago on August 1, 1999. I’ll say Kaddish for her tonight. And I’ll carry some of her with me—only not as much as I’d like. Don’t misunderstand.…
Read MoreI AM MY FATHER
There’s an old joke: When I graduated from high school, I thought my parents were ignorant and out of touch. When I graduated from college, I was amazed at how much they had learned. I write this because Sunday is Father’s Day. My father, Morris, died on June 18, 1983 at eighty. It was a…
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